beauty,pain&release Sometimes we have to make decisions that will hurt our heart but heal the soul

Updated: Sep 14, 2020

“ releasing the past, and make room for the future“

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.” ― Mandy Hale

So i recently have just gone through a break up and it was tough. I was the one who had to be strong enough to know I deserved more. I was ultimately in love with somebody purely because they wouldn’t love me back. That’s a special kind of hell that you got a put yourself through. You were the cat and I was your mouse i should’ve seen through it when you left me all alone on New Year’s Eve to ring in the year alone and with tears you never spoke to me again I feel so stupid for letting you back into my life but then again it gave me the fire to finally walk away from a loveless stake relationship All I ever wanted was to be adored be beautiful to you and be loved by you but you my emotions We’re just strings to pull on until they snapped . I feel like I never ask much of you just to complement me on things that you actually found intriguing about me but that’s the thing you never really liked me just the idea of me . And what a special kind of stupid I must be to have let you back into my life to pull on and snap my strings again. The one thing I just wanna know How could you spend A year and a half with somebody and not even have the slightest concern for their feelings. At the end of the day I at least thought I was your friend But you kicked my spirits of down and out into the curb You made me feel so small and even when I ended things I still thought because some how you would emerge as this butterfly from a cocoon of growth and be the person I needed you to be but my fate wants to ultimately become the person I needed me to be . I finally have chosen to love myself because you couldn’t . In the single moment that I finally realized that I didn’t matter to you it was easy to let go . So this is what I am learning and life is when to let go to something that’s killing your soul.

I ended up drawing some tarot cards that night

In hopes that somehow I would find peace in my decision.

And peace is what I found, I created my own closure and I ended that chapter .

past: reversed three of swords

The three of swords often relies heavily on heartache and difficulties and in the card it symbolizes peace and healing and teaches us that the only way to get through sorrows or to embrace them . This card signifies that I have somehow release the tension and brought my sorrow into the open making it possible to Continue on

present: reversed page of wands

The reverse page of wands often signifies that unexpected. Occurrences are a part of life it more than us to be open to someone new I will also indicate that somebody is not putting in effort into your relationship and it’s not really thinking about your feelings. It signifies lack of energy in your love life. it often will point to a relationship driven on resentment and love. It will often represent a partner who does not want to tie or is just honest to you sometimes this card indicates a painful breakdown .

future: death

The end.end of a cycle. Death of the old ways. often speaks of change and transformation Death card signifies that one cycle of life is ending and a new one is beginning. However, to realize your future you first must learn to leave the past behind. Death denotes someone who is going through a major transformation, often after experiencing significant loss In this context Death represents a person who must learn to let go of that which they cannot control.

and know that this too shall pass like the phoenix rising from the ashes, i to will experience rebirth.

13 views0 comments